Sunday, April 19, 2009

who's being humiliated here?

The real joke here is not on the passed-out guy, but on the douchebag in the yellow plaid shorts. He MUST be one of those 70% straight/30% gay, 2-beer queer types. No self-respecting fag would ever be seen in public in those shorts. A staight guy who hangs out with the 'prep' crowd would. There's definitely a gay component here. Truly hetero guys have no interest in anything relating to dicks, or balls, etc. It just never crosses their radar. Closet cases where the gay part is buried really really deep, like practical jokes like teabagging a sleeping buddy. The sleeping buddy who is a the object of the crush that dare not speak its name.

Likely Profile:
Student at a public university in the midwest. The cans of Natty Light are the giveaway.
Grew up in an an affluent suburb of a metropolitan area, in the center of the country. Cleveland, St. Louis, Dallas. Definitely not from one of the coasts.
Because of the low fees at the public university, his parents could afford to give him a nice car, likely a BMW. If they were better parents, they would spend the money on tuition on a better, private college. But he's probably too stupid to get in, so state school+nice car is the college experience. Because of the affluent (not rich, just affluent) suburb, and the nice car, he considers himself BMOC. Probably so, for the context. Ten years later:
The wife is fat and sloppy after pushing out 2.5 kids, and has no reason to keep in shape.
Stuck in a schlumpy mid-management job, offices in a suburban office park (think "the office")
Hellishly in debt.
Has a stash of porn in the attic, but watches it for the men, not the women.
40 pounds overweight.







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